Newsletter August 2015

Catches, entertainment and news from Thailand’s only exclusive syndicated sport-fishing venue.

Welcome once again to the Jurassic Mountain newsletter that gives you all the news, gossip, catch reports and light hearted anglers antics that relates to this Thailand fishing paradise for the month of August. A big thanks to all the new faces and returning guests who ventured into our 'Extreme Fishing Gem' as it was indeed our pleasure to welcome you all to Jurassic Mountain Resort and Fishing Park.

Before we get into the catch reports, I want to talk about Otters . Yeah that's right, those lovely little cute looking cuddly things with whiskers that at the moment are eating their way through the UK's stock of coarse fish and creating havoc as they go. We've got a major problem on our hands that is well on the way to being a total catastrophe. Scores of giant Carp , some worth well in excess of 20k are falling prey to these hungry fish feeding machines along with anything else that comes within range and its putting fisheries in dire jeopardy. Imagine the consequences of closed fisheries and rivers with hardly any fish of note. The angling industry would collapse and fishing tackle shops throughout the UK would go to the wall along with all their suppliers and the list of relevant associated businesses falling victim to this catastrophe is endless. We've got a catch 22 situation in as much that cormorants are being forced inland due to over commercialised fishing coupled with the reintroduction of otters to our waterways. Both of these species are protected by law and urgent action needs to be taken before it's too late. Badgers are culled because of a low risk threat of passing TB onto cattle, seals are culled because they eat tonnes of sea fish each year and otters and cormorants need to be culled before this situation affects you anglers directly; sure as God made apples, if the powers that be continue to stick their heads in the sand, affect you it certainly will. Finally, if you think that I'm over exaggerating on this, I happen to have my own personal experiences that brings me down firmly on the opposite of the fence of these cute looking fish gorging maniacs. I have a small trout lake in Ireland that held a stock of over 200 rainbows up to 18 pounds in weight. Not a very big lake but big enough to stir the interest of a certain Vinnie Jones who I had the pleasure of spending an entertaining few hours with. However, the day arrived that the otters fancied my lake as their new hunting ground and restaurant. They had the the lot ! Every fish wiped out and I can tell you that there is nothing as heartbreaking as seeing a double figure rainbow left on the side of the bank with just one bite out of it whilst the culprit is back in the lake looking for his next victim, while the law says that you've just got to stand by and watch because he was once an endangered species. Well the only thing that's endangered now is the UK's fishing industry, ludicrous!

Well that's got that off my chest! Now for the monthly fishing reports and a light hearted look at the anglers antics that August brought to the Jurassic Mountain table. My apologies to all those who wanted a mention but didn't get one and to those who got a mention and wished they hadn't. Here we go ....

Alan from Oxford turned up with his non fishing pal Nolan after attempting to get on the lake a few months back but sadly for them we were full at the time. However this time Alan got luckier, well, luckier in as much that he managed to bag a slot on the lake but not so lucky as his pal Nolan. Although Alan managed to land a few decent Siamese and redtails, Nolan showed him exactly how it's done by bagging a beauty of an arapaima well in excess of 200 pounds. We extend our congratulations to this non angling novice and our commiserations to Alan who no doubt will not have heard the last of this for some time to come.
 
Non angler Nolan with his prize

 

 


 
Matthew arrived back yet again to his favourite fishery. This guy must be one of the most enthusiastic and prolific anglers ever to step foot into Jurassic Mountain, he just doesn't stop. Day after day followed by nightime stints on the lake produced a haul of almost every species available to him including a fine Chao Phraya catfish landed during his after dark dabble. Just to prove that persistence pays dividends, Matt finally landed the big boy that he so longed for in the form of a Siamese carp weighing in excess of a 160 pounds. A friendly word of advice to anyone who gets offered a lift by Matt in his souped up supersonic Subaru. Do not! Not unless you're a suicidal adrenalin junkie whose just been certified insane that is. I had the misfortune of climbing in and getting from Jurassic Mountain to Cha-am in twelve point four seconds flat and I can assure you it aint for the faint hearted. We were going that fast I broke wind and I reckon we must have been travelling at the speed of sound because we smelt it before we bloody heard it!
Mad keen maniac Matt and his160 pound Siamese.

 
 
Here's a first. Nicky arrived from Malta being our first Maltese to add to our multi national contingent that we continually welcome here. I went to Malta once, never again! Did you know that the Maltese prime minister has claimed that the Med is becoming a graveyard for illegal immigrants? Apparantly on arriving in Malta and seeing the state of the towns, roads and buildings, they're throwing themselves back in the sea and trying to swim back to Syria. Well done with your couple of Siamese Nicky. Hope I haven't made a Maltese cross.

 
Terry from Staines in the UK popped over to Thailand to see his 'Pop' who resides in Udon. Having done the dutiful son bit he bid a fond and rapid farewell to Dad and turned up at Jurassic for at least a four day stint. He must have definitely trod in something on the way here because although the conditions weren't favourable, he managed to total 40 odd fish including one arapaima per day being the icing on his cake. Well done Terry, bet the ol' man's proud of ya!

 
Parisienne Lucian or was it Lucifer turned up for a days fishing. Lucy or whatever his name was seemed more intent on playing with his catapult than angling and before we could say 'Slow up Napoleon' he'd lobbed in his 10kg bucket of pellet in record quick time. We had no objections to this unlike his restaurant owner parents who went off on a Gallic strop upon receiving the bill for the extra bucket needed. Err....Second helping of moules please garcon, free of charge I presume.

 

 
Veering off on a slight tangent, it won't be long now before all our guests are able to sit at "The Angler's Rest" bar located in a traditional Thai sala and enjoy a cold beer or for the ladies a cocktail perhaps, whilst they look out over the lake to Jurassic's stunning mountain views or watch their partner or husband playing a monster fish. It's been a few years in the making but Jurassic has become a lot more than just a fishery, it's a 4 star resort with some of the biggest freshwater fish to be caught anywhere in the world, just outside your room!
 
In The Making - 'The Angler's Rest' Sala Bar
Enter Enrico, our Italian stallion Latin lover from Laos who enjoyed a great days fishing on the lake and an even better night down on the town with yours truly. Mafia connections sprung to mind when we sat down for dinner and he ordered the broken leg of lamb. This fine Siamese was the pick of his day followed by a fine hangover being the result of his night's antics out with me on the Pino Grigio. Enrico has vowed to return sooner rather than later and I look forward to another session with you then amico mio!

 
A big Jurassic welcome was extended to Dale from the UK and his three Aussie chums who enjoyed a great days sport here at Jurassic landing several Siamese carp and redtails between them; Callum came out on top managing to get six Siamese to the net. There has to be a valid reason why this fella decided to look like the lake's local lunatic but hey, lets leave him alone, the guys on holiday!

 
Here's Darren from Weston-super-mare in the UK. How this place came to get the 'super' tag in it's name is beyond me. I went there on holiday once and it was shut! They should rename the place Weston-night-mare as far as I'm concerned. Anyway at least four days on the lake enabled Darren to forget Somerset's seaside jewel and provided him with some great sport including this cracking arapaima well over the 200 mark.

 
This particularly happy guy is Jim from the UK. Jim was directed to Jurassic for the very first time by that well known and well travelled Bangkok based fishing guide named Tap. Prior to arriving here Jim had been placed under strict instructions from the 'missus' back home in England to meet up with their son in Bangkok who is backpacking around Asia. After carrying out his dutiful Dad bit by ensuring his sons well being by I assume a much required cash injection and obviously putting worried Mum's mind at ease; he then carried out the equally important issue of getting down to business at Jurassic Mountain. A couple of fine Siamese, an Indian carp and this nice redtail also ensured Jim's own well being before calling it a day slightly earlier than planned for the journey back to Bangkok. Congratulations are extended to Jim on all counts.

 
From the UK came Alan and his Bangkok based pal Chris. Both are accountants working for the same company and they had a great days sport between them landing numerous Siamese carp and redtails. I'm under the impression that accountancy must be one of the worlds most boring jobs. I have an accountant pal whose wife suffers very badly with insomnia and the only way that she can get some sleep is when she asks him 'so hows your day been then darling?' One instance springs to mind when a beggar asked him for some money to which he asked the reason why he should give him a few bob. The beggar replied 'because I'm homeless, I have no job, no income, no prospects and I have a wife, three kids and a dog to support.' This evidently aroused my pals interest when he said "I see, and how does this compare to the last quarter?' No insinuations as such to these two guys of course !

 
Gerard enjoyed a fine day for the Dutch capped off by landing this fine tampaqui. Gerard is a regular visitor here and also a regular visitor to Hua Hins famous D & G bar which I've visited on more than one occasion. Last time In there I thought Gerard was having a coughing fit so I jumped up and whacked him across his back but it turned out he wasn't coughing at all but was only speaking Dutch. I'd like to put the record straight and squash the belief that the Dutch have a tendency for being ultra careful with their Euros; as Gerard is never slow in getting his clogs up against the bar to buy a drink. In fact this guy completely dispels the rumour that the copper wire was invented by two Dutchmen fighting over a five cent coin. It's a pleasure to engage in conversation with this guy regarding his country that has a rather strange law stating you're more than welcome to sit in their coffee shops getting high as a kite smoking exotic plants but who will throw you in the Dutch dungeon if you're caught growing it. See you again soon Gerard.

 

 
Two Thai's from Bangkok, Thanit and his pal settled themselves into their swim followed by the ice cooler of beers they ordered from the clubhouse. They proceeded to have a cracking day landing Siamese carp to eighty pounds and this brute of a carp at double the size.

Whilst on the subject of beers, I had a few myself last night and came very close to a liason with a ladyboy. Well, she certainly looked like a woman, she spoke like a woman, walked like a woman and acted in every way like a woman. It was only when she drove me back to her place and reversed her car perfectly into a parking space at the very first attempt, I thought........ 'hold up a minute.'
Feeling mellow with this big fellow ......

 
 

 
Newly married Swedish couple Esbjorn and Christin decided to spend part of their honeymoon here at Jurassic Mountain. It's surprising how many newly married couples arrive here for a spot of angling. Personally I think it could be the male of the species making a statement of intent as it would make the wife's future comment of 'you're not going fishing AGAIN are you?' much easier to handle.

Now we all know that married life has it's ups and downs but for this young couple it started early. Apart from the obvious 'ups and downs' that goes with early married life (trust me, it'll soon wear off) their ups and downs were caused by having to frequently get in and out of the lake for the photos of the numerous fish that they managed to catch.

Happily to say they managed to keep their hands off each other for sufficient enough time to get their hands under this cracking specimen arapaima. Congratulations to you both and we wish you a long and happy life together.
The honeymooners certainly had their hands full here at Jurassic.

 
Next came Gordon and his wife from Essex who arrived at Jurassic for a weeks stay. The name Gordon always reminds me of my visit to one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants. Expensive or what? The man himself was also in the restaurant that night and he came over to my table to ask if he could recommend something off the menu for me. I don't think my answer of 'seventy five percent' was received too well.

Anyway, Gordon enjoyed great sport landing numerous fish all week culminating in eleven fish on his last day including two Siamese over eighty pounds a piece. Well done indeed Gordon.
Gordon's one of many.

 
You may recall in last months newsletter that I mentioned how drawing a blank at Jurassic is a very rare occasion indeed and that the winner of last months 'Blanker of the month' award was our good friend and regular visitor, Dave Brewster. Well, Dave turned up with a couple of pals with full intentions of setting the record straight. Yep, you've guessed it readers, whilst Dave's pals were pulling out fish faster than Georgie Best used to pull birds, Dave blanked yet again. The good news for our Dave is that he's now finally got his name in our record books....... not for landing a fish, but for being the first person to land the 'Blanker of the month' award twice on the trot !
A big welcome was extended to David an I.T consultant from East Anglia in the UK. Dave only managed to land three fish on his days angling being two Siamese and one tampaqui. Was Dave disappointed with his Jurassic Mountain experience having only landed three fish? Evidently not. I think the small matter of David leaving our gillie a 5000 baht tip certainly answers that question. We're glad you enjoyed your day David and we all at Jurassic hope to see you again soon. Especially the gillie!

 
Yet another honeymoon couple arrived in the form of Ben and Danni from Somerset in the UK. Are we advertising this fishery in a wedding mag or something? The desire and passion displayed by these newly weds was immense and I'm talking about for the fishing, what else? These two arrived here with a wish list of beating their previous PB's and they smashed it with every species. Indian carp to 25 pounds, redtails to 65, Siamese to over a 100 (one apiece) and an arapaima around the 150 certainly put the icing on their wedding cake. The happy couple are pictured above, well, one of 'em is anyway; the wifes taking the photo!

 
Here's David from Sweden. Nice place Sweden. I had a Swedish girlfriend once, Frigid. No not frigid in the meaning you're thinking, Frigid was her name. Anyway I don't know anything about this guy except that this was his second visit to Jurassic Mountain and what a visit it turned out to be for him. A Siamese in excess of a 160 pounds certainly put a smile on this Swedes face. Keep watching, he'll smile in a minute!

 

 
Yours truly took time off from writing the newsletter and decided to target the lakes Chao Phraya catfish for a change. A live bait a meter under a float soon tempted this little cracker to the net and if you really enjoy a good scrap with a fish, this is the one for you. The fight only lasted around twenty five minutes or so but it was non stop action all the way. There's the added bonus of fishing for this species that you're also likely to hook into the tampaqui which will give you a cracking fight too. Couple this with the fact that you could also get to grips with one of our arapaima that are in excess of 300 pounds or your carp rod could present you with not only a variety of species but also the carp approaching the 200 pound mark and you'll begin to understand just why I blow the trumpet for Jurassic Mountain. Yep, I sure do love this place!
Yours truly was more than pleased with this one !
He's back again. Matt the mad keen angler decided to pay us yet another visit. Matt by all accounts was a great Omar Sharif fan and was so obviously saddened by the great mans recent demise that he decided on his own personal tribute to him by dressing up as Lawrence of Arabia. We've had a spate of funny and silly hat photos recently so Jurassic have decided they are going to announce the winner of the 2015 silliest hat photo in due course. Hmmm, looks like we've found our winner. Matt, you're odds on favourite mate!

 
Here's Tom a Hong Kong based ex RAF pilot but now has opted for the far safer option of flying jumbos for Cathay Pacific. The last time I flew with this airline we aborted take off half way through and returned to the gate where we sat for over an hour not having a clue what was happening. When we eventually got airborne I asked the stewardess what the problem had been. 'Well" she said, 'the pilot was bothered about a noise coming from one of the engines, and it took us ages to find another pilot.' Nice worry free flight that was! Tom enjoyed great fishing at Jurassic including a jumbo sized Siamese around the 100 and this redtail weighing in at 45. Safe flights Tom.

 
Paul arrived with father and son team Andrew and Glen from Dublin. Andrew has a very interesting job in as much that he's the food safety officer. I presume that this job description means you have to check food in case someone wants to dump a large dose of poison in it. How the hell are you supposed to do that without bloody tasting it? I hope you get well paid mate. I'd have no appetite for that job that's for sure. Anyway numerous fish were landed including this tasty arapaima around the 160 mark which certainly tickled these two's taste buds.

 
Thomas Rance

 
Mark Asham

 
Patrick Gladding

 

 
My last anglers report is dedicated to my son Jimmy who arrived with his lovely wife Laura, my granddaughter Lily and identical twin grandsons Luca and Josh. I was slightly apprehensive about the arrival of 'Ronnie and Reggie,' my pet name for the twins as they're like a couple of mini whirlwinds. Put it this way, we had a tropical storm a couple of weeks back that uprooted trees and made the place look like a war zone for a few days but that incident would pale into insignificance once this little firm got going. On the subject of twins, I went out with a girl who was a twin and one of the questions I was regularly asked was how did I tell them apart. Easy answer that was, my girlfriend had long blonde hair and her brother had a beard. Anyway I'm proud and pleased to announce that no major incidents of destruction took place during their visit and they all had a fabulous time catching fish for fun here at Jurassic and best of all celebrating my big 65th with me which certainly put the icing on my birthday cake.
 

 
Well that's it for another month. I hope you enjoyed the August newsletter as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I also hope that for those of you unlucky enough to get a mention that you accept my tongue in cheek comments in the light hearted manner in which they were intended. If however you're completely devoid of a sense of humour and wish to lodge a complaint, send your gripes to Steve@couldnt_give_ a_monkeys.com.

On the subject of gripes, my very final comments are directed and dedicated to the so called 'angler' who turned up at Jurassic Mountain this month on a single day trip and without wishing to embarrass the guy any more than necessary, I'll refrain from using his real name and I'll call him Keith. Keith had a fair day here landing Siamese carp and redtails but was not a happy bunny. You see, our Keith was under the impression that just by turning up at Jurassic automatically guaranteed him landing a Siamese carp over the 100 pound mark and was quite put out by the fact that he didn't. Can you believe it? This guy expected a treble figure carp in one day at Jurassic and sulked when he didn't get one. You know the fish I'm referring to fellow anglers, the ultimate carp that you and I spend endless hours trying to land and to the vast majority of us (including yours truly) have yet to lay claim to. As the old saying goes, you can't please everybody all of the time and our Keith was certainly one of 'em.

If this newsletter tempts you to sample the Jurassic Mountain experience for yourselves, please mention 'Newsletter" in your enquiry to receive a chance of an upgrade into a de-luxe poolside suite, subject to availability.